Shahid Malik - Escapologist!

We'd been wondering what our old mate Shahid Malik, the Labour MP for Dewsbury, has been up to since we last reported on his travails relating to his expenses claims which are generally considered to be, at best, slightly shifty if not outright fraudulent.

Shahid Malik - wizard!
Image adapted from one at Unyclopedia, used according to Creative Commons license.

Shahid, as we all know, was forced to step down from the Cabinet (which is politician-speak for "asked to go") when the Daily Telegraph revealed that they were ever so slightly confused over precisely which of his properties was his second home since he seemed to be spending most of his time at the one he said it was - this, according to Parliamentary rules, means that he ought to declare it as his first home and be responsible for the maintenance himself. Next thing you know, people were accusing him of trying to get the tax-payer to fund his luxury lifestyle, which was all a bit unfair - after all, why should our man with his £95,617 per annum salary be expected to pay for his own big television and massage chair? Some people thought he might have been renting his constituency flat - owned by a personal friend of his - at a preferential rate too, which would have been frowned upon as well, because MPs are required to mention things like that.

Poor old Shahid then had to go through the indignity of being investigated by a Parliamentary Standards Commissioner, and things were looking bad. But, as luck would have it, he was found not guilty even though he couldn't provide proper records to show what he'd been paying - either way, Gordon Brown gave him a nice new job in his freshly reshuffled Cabinet. Hurray!

But the big bad bullies at the Telegraph hadn't finished with him yet, and they started saying that Shahid had also been claiming for two different sets of office space - and what's more, one of them formed part of his house and that's not allowed either. Now they say that he claimed £1015 more than he should have done to cover the cost of his Council Tax too, which Mr. Brown is going to feel a bit embarrassed about because when he gave Shahid his new job, he made him Under-Secretary of State for Communities and, in that role, guess what he's partly responsible for...? Yep - Council Tax!

There's an old saying: shit sticks. It means that, if you can stir up enough controversy around a subject, some of it will forever be associated with that subject. Another old saying maintains that there's no smoke without fire, which means that if there is indication of something happening, then something is happening. Mr. Malik has now been so entangled in the expenses furore that even if he was able to produce miraculous evidence that proved he's done nothing but behave better than a shock-trained labrador on Ritalin, he'd still have a faint dodgy whiff about him for the rest of his career. Anyway, all these stories of his supposed impropriety couldn't all be false, could they? There must be a grain of truth, somewhere...

That last paragraph nakes him look a bit of a political albatross all in all, and you have to wonder why the Prime Minister - who has been working hard to clean up his battered government in the hope that they won't take quite such a kicking come the General Election as they did in the recent local and European elections even though he knows they cannot possibly win - might want someone of whom the electorate now have a deep suspicion in his Cabinet. Mr. Malik is beginning to look like the star pupil of Lord Mandelson's Surviving Scandals and Damage Limitation Academy.

So anyway, back to the story. As we were saying, we were just wondering what Shahid's been doing with himself for the last week or so since the censored expenses details were published, knocking him out of the headlines so we Googled his name. We haven't had sight nor sound of him since then and he hasn't even popped round for a cup of tea since...er, well, he just hasn't popped round for a cup of tea.

But guess what we found on Google? Shahid Malik - magician, illusionist and escapologist, no less! Suddenly, everything is clear!

Well, bugger me! They must be related to one another, surely? The likeness is far too great for them not to be family!

Malik, Johnson and Balls attempt to claim for poppy wreaths

Two MPs - Shahid Malik (Labour, Dewsbury) and Ed Balls (Labour, Normanton) - along with Mayor of London Boris Johnson all attempted to make expenses claims to recoup the cost of commemorative wreaths, according to the Daily Telegraph. The wreathes are sold on behalf of the Royal British Legion, a charity which looks after the needs of both current and retired members of the British Armed Forces, for just £16.50 and are commonly laid on war memorials and at various events during Remembrance Sunday when those who died serving Britain in WW1 (but also those who fell in other conflicts) are honoured. Once the cost of manufacture has been covered, proceeds are used to provide financial, social and emotional support to survivors.

Mr. Johnson made his claim during his time as Conservative MP for Hendon. Mr. Balls submitted his, for two wreaths at £33, in 2007. Mr. Malik has made two separate claims, one in 2006 and another in 2007, providing an invoice from the Legion in both instances. In both cases, he was refused and informed by the Commons that his claims did not "fall within the remit of this allowance." All three have subsequently said that the claims were mistakenly submitted by staff - though Mr. Malik is either unable or unwilling to answer to questions on why his signature appears on the claim forms.

Royal British Legion poppy wreaths are laid in huge numbers on war memorials every November. Sales of them raise large sums for the world-famous charitable organisation.

Labour back-bencher Frank Cook tried to claim to recover the cost of a £5 donation he made to a church Battle of Britain memorial service. His claim was also denied and he later apologised.

Mr. Malik, Mr. Johnson, Mr. Balls and Mr. Cook - the chances of any of you ever reading this blog are admittedly very slight (though seeing as how I'm a tax-payer and therefore almost certainly paid for a percentage of your computers, maybe you owe me a read) but nevertheless, just in case one of you should ever happen to find us, we've provided a link that we think you may find informative:

Please Click Here.

We're sorry to keep on about it, but here's Shahid Malik again

The Daily Telegraph today claims that the beleaguered Dewsbury MP "failed to tell the whole truth" when questioned about his expenses claims. Mr. Malik, who stepped down from his position as Justice Minister prior to an investigation last month but was subsequently given a new Cabinet position when cleared of allegations, has once again found himself the subject of unwanted attention as new evidence came to light that he had claimed for two separate sets of office space.

Mr. Malik was last month accused of renting a property in his constituency from a friend and business associate, Tahir Zaman, at a preferential rate. However, an inquiry led by Commissioner for Standards Sir Phillip Mawer stated that the cost of the property - £100 per week - was in keeping with local market rates, but criticised him for not being able to provide proper records of all payments. The MP said that due to Mr. Zaman's devout religious belief he had paid a large percentage of the rent in cash - Islam, like Christianity, has strict rules concerning usury (Muslims seem to be better at remembering that bit of the Koran than Christians are with the Bible); for which reason many Muslims prefer to carry out business with as little to do with banks as possible. Sir Phillip, having examined Mr. Malik's records, stated his belief that these payments had in all probability taken place, and Mr. Malik was cleared. Prime Minister Gordon Brown originally refused to publish even a redacted version of the report which led many people - public and media, including us - to suspect that all is not as it ought to be and that there may be skulduggery afoot. The report was eventually published on Wednesday.

The ground floor of Mr. Malik's constituency home is office space. The MP claims that he pays rent on the top floor - which is living space - separately to the rent for the ground floor, and as a result has not broken expenses rules.

Mr. Malik and his staff inherited office space previously used by his Parliamentary predecessor Ann Taylor in May 2005. This office was found to be too small, and so he took on a larger office in the Daisy Hill area of Dewsbury, announcing the move on his website on the 2nd of April '06. He claimed expenses on the new office but continued to also claim for the original space, until April 2008, which is after the date that he says his last member of staff moved during 2007. This netted him a sum of around £6500.

Mr. Malik's expenses show that he claimed for premises known only as "office2," the location of which he originally attempted to keep private - however, the Telegraph has revealed that it is located in the ground floor of his Dewsbury home, which is designated as his main home and as such should not be paid for out of the public purse unlike his London second home, for which an MP is entitled to claim - Mr. Malik has claimed more than £60,000 for his. Essentially, he was claiming for both his second and main homes, which according to The Green Book - the set of guidelines on MPs' expenses - is against the rules, though he says that he had a separate rental agreement on the upper floor, which is living space, of the Dewsbury property. Mr. Malik maintains that he acted within the rules at all times.

Unfortunately for the MP, this seems to be subject to another mysterious informal agreement and he has refused to say how much rent he pays. Had it not have been for the previous controversy and Mr. Malik's astronomically high expenses, including the fact that he is known to have regularly submitted the maximum allowable £400 a month claim for food despite his ministerial salary which is higher than the standard MP's salary of £64,766 (as of April this year), we might even have given him the benefit of the doubt and waited to see if closer investigation showed up anything untoward. But, as they say, shit sticks. Mr. Malik has been the inspiration of so many disparaging column inches just recently that he's been starting to look distinctly shady.

Today, it has been revealed that he did not inform Sir Phillip that he was making a claim to cover the cost of "office2," failing even to mention its existence. Sir Phillip will now face calls from both opposition MPs and the public to reopen his investigation - this could not come at a worse time, since it looks likely Mr. Malik will also have to answer questions from Commissioner for Standards John Lyon on the matter of his continued claims for the original office after moving from it. He is also to be quizzed regarding another property located in Burnley, where he was born and where his parents live. Despite his claims that he has lived in the Dewsbury house since 2004, the Burnley property was designated as his main residence (defined by Commons guidelines as the address at which an MP spends most of his or her time) until its sale, which meant that he did not have to pay capital gains tax when his sister bought the house for £235,000.

Gordon Brown, who has been looking a lot more secure than he did last week after Labour's lowest election results in 90 years and a wave of ministerial resignations, will also now have to face questions from MPs in his own party and the Opposition. Only a week ago, it looked like the PM was on the brink of a leadership challenge which may well have deposed him, and so questions as awkward as whether or not he acted too quickly in reinstating Mr. Malik could not come at a worse time.

Malik probed by watchdog

Shahid Malik, the MP who is once gain in trouble over his expenses claims, faces investigation over the latest allegations that he continued to claim for the cost of a second office after the date that the last member of his staff had moved to a new, larger office.

Mr. Malik denies the accusations, which were first reported by the Daily Telegraph and also covered by Acid Rabbi, describing them as a "complete fabrication."

Although he was cleared of the earlier charges, which related to a second home in his Dewsbury constituency, the inquiry - headed by Commissioner for Standards Sir Phillip Mawer, criticised him for being unable to provide a complete audit trail. Mr. Malik put this down to the fact that many transactions between himself and the owner of the Dewsbury property - Tahir Zaman - were conducted in cash due to Mr. Zaman's strict adherence to Islam. However, Sir Phillip stated that, after examining Mr. Malik's records, he was of the opinion that the payments had in all likelihood been made. Suspicions that the property had been rented at a preferential rate were also quashed, and Mr. Malik - who had resigned from his ministerial position - was reinstated to the Cabinet.

However, despite denying the latest allegations, he once again faces investigation; this time by Commissioner for Standards John Lyon who is said to be considering whether or not to look into the case after a complaint, thought to have been made by campaigners seeking transparency in politics, was made against the MP.

It is up to Mr. Malik to answer the charges, according to No. 10. A spokesman for the Prime Minister has said that "there are no new allegations he has breached the ministerial code." Mr. Malik still insists he has never broken the rules despite having some of the highest expenses claims made by any MP.

Gordon Brown has stated that any breach of the ministerial code will be uncovered by the auditors - independent of the Commons - who are currently checking all MP's records for any sign of dishonest activity and says that Mr. Malik "will have to go through that process and if there is any difficulty or impropriety action will have to be taken."

Even if Mr. Malik is found to be utterly beyond reproach, his career - which, to this observer at least, once looked as though it might last for years and one day even be considered amongst the greatest in recent years - will undoubtedly be tarnished by the last few weeks.

Malik faces fresh expenses allegations

Shahid Malik, the Labour MP who was recently given a new Cabinet position after he was cleared of wrong-doing related to previous expenses allegations, is once again facing inquiry after new accusations were made in the Daily Telegraph.

Shahid Malik is in trouble again.

Malik, who has stated that the new claims are a "complete fabrication," resigned as Justice Minister in May after the newspaper claimed that he might have been a little dishonest over his Dewsbury constituency flat, for which he was paying £100 a week in rent which was thought then to be a preferential rate. This figure was subsequently found to be in line with the current market and since the £66,827 (the Telegraph also says that he claimed £82,603 in rental expenses during the same amount of time) he has claimed over the last three years - amongst the highest of all MPs - was all perfectly acceptable by Parliamentary guidelines, he was declared to be in the clear after an investigation led by Commissioner for Standards Sir Phillip Mawer, though Sir Phillip did note that it was unfortunate that Malik had not been able to provide proper audit records. However, Prime Minister Gordon Brown has refused to publish the report into his affairs, which has led several newspapers (and Acid Rabbi) to question whether or not there may have been anything...how shall we say it...a bit shifty going on.

The new allegations are connected to two sets of office space, for which he has made claims to cover the cost of rent - No.10 Downing Street has not yet specifically commented, but says that the claims are not a breach of ministerial code. Under Parliamentary rules, an MP is allowed to claim for one office in the constituency they represent, and while Mr. Malik freely admits that he does have a second office he says that this is also within guidelines.

Mr. Malik took over an office originally used by his predecessor, but left that office in April 2006 as it was, he claims, too small to meet his needs. He then began claiming £6,000 per annum for a new, larger office and has continued doing so - but also claimed for the old office, listed in his expenses claims as "office 2", until April 2008 when the last claim was made, which would mean that he was still claiming after the date on which he says the last member of his staff moved to the new space. The money was paid to Yes Properties, which is owned by Tahir Zaman - the same man from whom Mr. Malik rented the Dewsbury flat.

The Parliamentary guidelines on making expenses claims for office space states that "You must ensure that arrangements for your office and surgery premises are above reproach and that there can be no grounds for a suggestion of misuse of public money."

Oh, Shahid, Shahid. We really want to like you - after all, you were the first ever Muslim to become a Government minister and that really pisses off the sort of people most of us hate. We also loved what you did when you exposed the truncheon-happy police during the Burnley riots back in 2001. Your efforts to promote Muslim-Jewish understanding and criticism of the Iraq war have been both inspiring and laudable (we'll temporarily overlook your opposition into investigating the war for now). But please - just be honest with us. You have to admit your expenses have been astronomical, and while nobody would say you should have paid for offices out of your own pocket - after all, employees of companies are not expected to pay for their workplaces - this really does look very dodgy.

The first thing you need to do is very simple: just apologise for the huge amount of money you have already claimed (including the massage chair, and what you tried to claim for the television) and promise you'll try to limit it in the future. You'll be amazed at what saying sorry can achieve. People don't expect politicians to apologise and we might even be so amazed that we'll forgive you. The second thing to do is to ask Mr. Brown to publish redacted details of Lord Mawer's findings - we'll be perfectly happy if all the private and personal details have been removed, just so long as we know why and how you were found not to have acted dishonestly - because right now, it's very difficult to believe you did anything but.

Shahid Malik cleared of wrong-doing...but Brown won't give us details

Never let it be said that Acid Rabbi is unfair. A b*stard, perhaps - we won't argue with that but not unfair. For that reason, we'll mention that Shahid Malik - the ex-Minister for Justice whose resignation we published a piece on in May - has been cleared of any wrong-doing related to the £100 a week rent he pays for his Dewsbury constituency flat. The expectation was that he would return to the Cabinet if he was cleared and if nobody else took over the position - he has since done so, having been named Communities Minister following Prime Minister Gordon Brown's reshuffle.

Shahid Malik MP: Cleared by the Parliamentary Commissioner for Standards.

If Mr. Malik was paying a subsidised rent, he would have had to declare it. No.10 asked Commissioner for Standards Sir Phillip Mawer to investigate the MP, who has always insisted he did not break ministerial rules and claims to be "delighted" at the result of the investigation.

Mr. Malik - we'd like to say sorry for our suspicion that you were up to no good, and we're very pleased that you've been proved not guilty. However, please tell Mr. Brown that we, the British electorate, would be a lot more comfortable with your reinstatement if the findings of Sir Mawer's investigation were made public. Mr. Brown says that the report "goes into quite a lot of detail about Mr Malik's personal affairs" but, when asked if a redacted (edited) version, with sensitive details removed, would be published, he again says no but does admit that Malik has since put his tenancy arrangements on what the Daily Telegraph calls "a more formal footing."

Now, Mr. Malik. We don't want to say we don't believe that you're innocent - partly because you've been on the news attacking the BNP since Sunday, and most of us don't trust those dodgy fascists one bit - and we have no doubts that Sir Mawer did his job to the utmost of his abilities. The trouble is, you see, not very many of us out here amongst the electorate trust Gordon any more - in fact, a lot of us think he's a back-stabbing pitiful excuse for a PM and had we have voted for him we'd now be sincerely regretting it. Also, we haven't forgotten the £66, 827 you claimed in expenses over the last three years. That's a lot of money, isn't it? Considering we're a little unimpressed with all those MPs who claimed far smaller amounts, I'm sure you can understand that we still have a few reservations - it's going to take a little bit of time until we can trust you fully again.

We really want to trust you again, though. Please ask Gordon to help us see that you are an honourable man by publishing the investigation - surely you can understand that doing so is in your own best interests?

Duh, duh, duh, and another one bites the dust...

Labour MP and Justice Minister Shahid Malik is the latest politician to step down as a result of the current furore over Parliamentary expenses claims. The Daily Telegraph says that the Dewsbury MP's expenses are the highest claimed and include £66,827 over three years for his London second home (which equates to the highest amount it is possible to receive), £23,083 of which was paid last year - £443 a week; £2100 for a television (though he was only allowed half this amount, poor deprived creature that he is); £65 to cover a court summons for non-payment of Council Tax and £730 for a massage chair. £69,222 - not a bad little haul. What's more, his constituency home sets him back less than £100 a week. He has also regularly claimed the maximum £400 allowable each month for food.

Mr. Malik in Asda. "I'll have three of them, five of them

and a couple of them. Send the bill to the tax-payers."

That's on top of the £95,617 salary he gets as a junior minister. He was not allowed to claim for a portable DVD player and an iPod.

The trouble is, it seems Mr. Malik have been spending most of his time at his London address, it should have been declared as his first home - which he ought to pay for himself, instead of paying for the well-below-commercial rent Dewsbury property.

Neither he nor the landlord - Mr. Zaman - of the Dewsbury house have been willing to say if a formal lease agreement was signed, but Mr. Zaman's wife has revealed that it appears to be lived in by a constituency worker during the week, adding "He [Mr Malik] is a good friend and neighbour.He comes here just at the weekends...usually he comes here alone.” Mr. Malik denies this, claiming that he lives there for half of every week and during Parliamentary recess.

Mr. Malik insists that he will not pay back the amount he has received, saying that he is "as straight as they come" and that his actions were "one million per cent by the book." Meanwhile, he has agreed to donate £1050 - the amount he somehow managed to claim for his television, even though claims for such items are limited to £750 - to charities in Dewsbury. "I will not be giving it to the authorities in Parliament because it is legitimately mine," he said.

Mr. Malik has in the past said that the UK is the best place a Muslim could ever live. It's even better if you're a greedy, money-grabbing MP though. "With hindsight, I think every MP in this country would have done things differently," he says - what, you mean when you thought you were going to be allowed to carry on ripping off the tax-payers? Also, why did he feel the need to step down if, as he's acted as honestly as he claims?

He also calls for what he refers to as the "bloodfest" of media investigations and reporting on the expenses row to come to and end. No way, Shahid. We want to know what you and your friends have been up to. What's more, we're really enjoying seeing you squirm. :-)