Dodgy Git Of The Week

Yet another tricky decision this week - and to think we thought this'd be an easy way to fob readers off with a story that'd require absolutely no effort on our behalf whatsoever! It's been yet another good week for Dodgy Git spotting even though it's gone a bit quiet as far as new expenses revelations go - presumably the newspapers are concentrating on Michael Jackson for a bit and thought they might as well save the expenses stories for a bit till things have quietened down (and sales have tailed off).

George Osborne is in the news again, of course. Mr. Osborne has shown himself to be a Dodgy Git of very high standard, but he won the Dodgy Git Award (woo hoo!) a couple of weeks back for the very things that have got him the column inches all over again. Harry Cohen too has demonstrated himself to be a man given to extreme Dodgy Gittiness after he claimed the £100,000+ that he received for his second home forms part of his salary. Then there's Davyboy Cameron, who has been acting like the insincere little vote whore he is this week and pretending he likes gay people despite a past voting record that suggests very differently. But we eventually settled on...who else but the big man himself:

Prime Minister Gordon Brown!

Gordon's PMQs this week will remain famous forever because of one little statement:

0% growth

Hansard will no doubt record what followed as an interruption, but it's obvious to anyone who watches the video that what it means is "The entire house fell about the place, laughing their heads off at the fool. It's lucky this wasn't the Lords because a few of them are getting on a bit and can't handle excitement of this type." One of the funniest bits is the look on new Speaker John Bercow's face as he tries not to join in with the merriment. What could he have meant? Did he - as Harriet Harman tried to claim on Thursday night's Question Time - genuinely mean to say "0.7%?" He's been promising us for ages that the economy will soon start picking up and his party will increase spending, rather than decreasing it as the Tories have been claiming pretty much non-stop (honestly, they've been going on about it so much you wonder where they've found the time to shovel in the caviar and lobsters that they live on at the tax-payers' expense). Is it possible that, once he was up there in front of the packed House, he was unable to provide figures in support of his promises and, so desperate was he to avoid admitting there will in fact be no increase (and to avoid the dreaded C word*), he thought he could get away with using transparent bullshi...jargon to befuddle our inferior non-Prime Ministerial minds? Gordon, please - only the Dark Lord Mandelson himself can pull off absurd nonsense of that calibre! Anyway, we're choosing to go with the latter; and just for having sufficiently steely balls to even think about trying his luck with that one, Gordon gets the award.

Gordon's had a tough couple of months, and to top it all off this week some teacher's pet of a Tory swot only went and grassed him up for getting ink on the Dispatches Box. We hope that winning this prestigious award will help put a smile back on those cheeky little Scottish chops of his.

*Cuts.