Onoes! We're all too stupid to vote!

The United Kingdom Independence Party, desperate as ever to do all they can to ensure the maximum number of people vote for them, are threatening legal action due to the way the ballot papers being used in today's election are folded. In areas with many candidates, a larger ballot paper is being used to fit all the names on - polling station officers have been instructed to unfold the papers before handing them over to voters.

The anti-EU party is at the bottom of the list of parties contesting the European election on the paper which is folded in half - this has apparently proved sufficiently fiendish to confuse many a poor, simple UKIP voter, a number of whom have contacted the party to complain. Godfrey Bloom, UKIP MEP, says that if it proves to have been as much of a problem as suspected, his party will demand a re-run of the entire voting process. He added that UKIP fears it will lose thousands of votes (with any luck, that's quite a few more than they'll get anyway) as supporters prove to be in possession of insufficient intelligence to work it out for themselves and unfold the paper - presumably they'll then pick whichever candidate has the funniest name instead.

"Even people who have been going in to the polling stations intending to vote for us have not been able to find UKIP on the list because the paper is razor-folded along the bottom edge. It makes it extremely difficult in some parts of the country to find us on the list and several hours have elapsed in which this fault has not been rectified," he says.

Meanwhile, Labour's Tom Harris - who appears to have a little more faith in the public's intellectual capabilities - has argued on his blog against those who have compared the deviously-arranged papers to electoral fraud in Zimbabwe.

"The thousands of political refugees who have claimed asylum in Britain in recent years rarely mention the murders, rapes, beatings, intimidation and land-grab. No, no, no… It was the insistence by Harare returning officers on folding ballot papers that finally persuaded them to jump in the back of that lorry for the 3000-mile journey to Blighty,"
writes the Glasgow South MP.

So, UKIP voters...how does it feel when the party you wish to represent you and your country in Europe publically declares you to be stupid?

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