Poll Results

We created a poll asking how readers were planning to vote come the next General Election. The choices were as follows:

A. Conservative

B. Labour

C. Liberal Democrat

D. By writing "Fuck Off" on a brick and chucking it through a House of Commons window.

Labour received a total of zero votes, closely mirroring their performance in the local and European elections that took place at the beginning of June. The LibDems also received none, possibly because most LibDem voters only read the Guardian and don't have time for blogs such as Acid Rabbi in between doing that and shopping in Waitrose. We didn't bother including the BNP for the simple reason that few BNP voters are likely to bother reading a blog called Acid Rabbi, and anyway few of them have the mental capacity to use a computer. We also ignored UKIP because, well, we find that's the best thing to do with them.

The Conservatives were awarded 14% of the total vote, which translates as a stunning 2 votes, whereas option D - writing "Fuck Off" on a brick and throwing it through a Commons window - was by far th most popular with an incredible 85%, a whole 12 votes.

Unfortunately - and tempting as it may be - were anyone to actually do this, the brick would not count as a vote, even though if everyone in the UK who would have chosen this option had they have seen the poll were to do it during a well-attended debate it would most certainly get noticed and the protest it represented would be hard to ignore. It'd also almost certainly attract the attention of riot police with tear gas and dogs and result in mass arrests, of course.

Maybe, as an alternative, ballot papers need a "None of the above" section? In the meantime, it looks like the Tories are in the lead.

No comments:

Post a Comment