Health Minister to pay back £41K

Phil Hope (not to be confused with Alan "Howling Laud" Hope of the Monster Raving Loony Party), the junior Health Minister and MP for Corby, has agreed to pay back £41,709 which he claimed in expenses during the latest series of kow-towing apologies from MPs and ministers as the realise the ol' "Let's Get The Tax-Payer To Foot All Our Bills Game" is finally up. This will be the largest amount paid back so far in a week which has seen several other Members of Parliament agreeing to return what they took, including the £22,500 which Margaret Moran had to sort out the dry-rot at the Southampton second home, coincidentally where her husband lives, which is 100 miles from her constituency of Luton. Several Tories have also stated they'll be refunding their claims, including David Cameron who yesterday spoke of his disgust at those who had taken advantage of the system and said that his MPs must pay back excessive claims or face the sack. However, more are expected, especially from the Liberal Democrats who have been having lots of fun attacking Labour and the Tories until they woke up this morning to discover that the Daily Telegraph, who obtained a copy of a leaked expenses report, have decided it's now their turn.

"Excuse me, sir - have you paid for that coffee? Or did we?"

"Whatever the right and wrongs of the allowance system this issue has fundamentally changed the view people have of me and that is something I cannot bear," says Mr. Hope. Well, you're half right. It hasn't changed our opinions though, it's just confirmed what we have long suspected - that you, like all the rest of Parliament, are a load of slimy shitbags in it for your own personal gain. What made you, all of you, think it was acceptable to get the tax-payers, most of whom earn far lower salaries than you do, to finance your lifestyles? Would any single one of you ever have thought, "Hmm, actually I think getting the proles to pay for my swimming pool to be cleaned was a bit of a wanky thing to do, and I feel like a bit of a git now, perhaps I'd better pay it back," had the Torygraph not have outed you? No, we don't think you would have.