Acid Rabbi

Apparently, at some point in late January, Jupiter was set on fire and, as a result, became a second sun. Extremely hippified "proof" here.

Precisely why and how this happened is a little bit of a mystery - some claim NASA did it for some reason or another (to guarantee a long, hot summer, maybe? Never mind the massive increase in global temperatures, ice cap melting, drought, famine etc that would result), others seem to think it was either some hitherto unknown process (one that allows big balls of gas with vastly insufficient mass to suddenly form a nuclear chain reaction, presumably - which explains the toxic effects of post-curry bodily functions) or those likable galactic scamps the Aliens. Could it be that the Archimandrite Luseferous is still alive, and was trying to warn the Dwellers to watch their step (non-geeks can ignore this)?

Weird shit, eh? The most amazing thing is how nobody except for a few online conspiracy theorist people noticed.